I recently read an article written by a Coast Guard officer to the crew under his command. It was an article about how to recognize someone who is drowning. At first blush; I thought it was a silly article. Who doesn’t know when someone is drowning? Then I read the article. It turns out everything I thought I knew about drowning was wrong.
Drowning is pretty much a silent tragedy. There is typically no flailing or screaming because the body’s response to the trauma of drowning will not allow it. Many children drown a few feet from a parent in a moments time with little warning. The article gave many indications of someone who is drowning that mostly involved being aware of subtle cues, like the fact that drowning people’s mouths alternatively sink below water and then surface, but not long enough for them to exhale and inhale, and certainly not long enough to call for help. I won’t speak to the entire article but encourage you to read it, especially if you are a parent. You can read it HERE
Reading the article caused me to ponder how this is much like folks who struggle with emotional issues. We see them at work, at school, or at church and they put on a “brave face,” hiding the extent to which they are in over their heads… close to drowning in hopelessness. There are people in the vicinity, distracted by all the daily business that must be attended to, and no one notices the empty look, the discouraged face or the distancing occurring. Then everyone is surprised when the person blows up, disappears or worse makes a desperate act causing them harm or wrecks their future.
Then we hear people saying, why didn’t they say something, or ask for help? Much like drowning; the traumas of life keep the body from the ability to draw attention to one’s plight. It takes close observation to notice when someone is over their head with life. Like the life guard responding to a drowning; it often takes careful intervention when we notice a person in trouble to avoid creating a deeper plight. Being vigilant in observation is a struggle in our distracted generation.
So what can we do?
• Give the gift of awareness (a precious gift in our society)
• Be available
• Be patient
If you are in over your head and feel that you have nowhere to turn call Mike Welter at RESTORE COUNSELING SERVICES (502 434 4881)